So the Pope resigned this week.
And good for him, sometimes you just have had enough of the 9-5 grind and living in a little cubicle having to drink bad coffee and take crap from a shitty boss so you just have to resign before you climb a clock tower with a sniper rifle.
Oh wait? He lived in a palace and didn’t really do anything. I blame social media. First Pope on twitter and next thing you know he’s resigned. There are only so many Bieber fans and bots offering you discount iPads you can take before you have to quit or climb a clock tower with a sniper rifle.
I just want to know how the heck he resigned. Who exactly do you give the resignation letter to?
“Dear God, you can take this job and shove it. Kind Regards – Pope… Benedict” (you can’t expect God to remember all the Popes’ names, he’s a busy guy).
What does someone do after being the Pope? You’d think he’d be a bit overqualified for most roles.
“Well you have a very impressive resume Mr Pope, but what makes you think you’d be suitable to work here at Walmart?”
Do you think he resigned to join a competitor in the market? Like all of a sudden he’s a Rabi or head of Scientology. It’s not like the Church can really counter offer.
“Look Pope, we understand things have been tough, but how about a pay increase and a promotion to Super Pope or Jesus.
In a press conference (that may or may not have actually happened) he was heard to remark.
“Look, I’m sorry Christians, I was offered a great package by the Scientologists, it’s got great medical aid, full dental and an employee share scheme. They even said I could pick my own title, I’m going with Captain Science! The job is on flexi-time so this gives me more time to spend time with my wife and kids… um I mean… spend more time with my World of Warcraft clan, I’ve got a sweet level 70 blood elf.”
“Also I want to concentrate more on my music, especially my solo career as the artist formerly known as Pope. I’ve also got a book I’m working on called “Rock Papal Scissors – how to cope when you’re Pope”
“I guess I was just tired of the same thing every day and trying to convince people of the truth about our religion. That my nose does not taste like chicken!”