My Hero

Posted: March 18, 2011 in comedy
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I’m a pretty big fan of rugby, which I know is a completely unheard of declaration here in South Africa, but I mean it. I watch every game I can; I follow up with news reports, forums, the late night talk shows, the fantasy leagues, the sports prediction games. I do it all, often to the detriment of my career and relationships.

However, through all this loyalty and support that I have for the game that has brought me such joy and such sweet agony (I’m a sharks fan, need I say more), there is one thing that I just don’t understand about the game of rugby.

Why the hell do we give William Webb Ellis so much credit for being the founder of the sport? The world cup trophy is even named after him. He will forever live on as a visionary and a leader. Someone who never conformed to the norms of society and who when faced with adversity took the ball by the hands and ran towards his goal.

In the meantime, the truth remains that while playing a game of soccer, some douche bag little kid decided that he was tired of playing fairly and so picked up the ball and ran with it. I’m pretty sure the guys he was playing with weren’t exactly in awe of his sudden creativity. They probably thought “Oh great! William’s throwing a tantrum again. If it weren’t for the fact that he was the only one who owned a soccer ball, we wouldn’t ever invite him to play with us.”

And the legend goes that his friends decided to “play along” and tried tackling him as he tried to run the soccer ball towards the goal (while the truth is more likely that they were trying to kick his ass for spoiling their game). All because of some good PR, he gets known as the first ever rugby player, instead of the worst ever soccer player (and a spoilt brat)

Even he doesn’t think he invented rugby. In the moment that his team was losing and he was tired of playing by the rules, he didn’t quickly design a new game to play instead. He petulantly picked up the ball and tried to run away, probably whining “fine, if you guys won’t let me win, then I’m taking my ball home and telling my dad”.

Yet here we are today, in the year of a world cup, when all the best rugby playing nations in the world will compete to be the owner’s of the William Webb Ellis Trophy (if they only knew).

I just hope this kid didn’t continue throughout his life messing with the rules in the hope of creating something new because it’s a terrible example for others.

When I see someone do something stupid in traffic, like driving on the wrong side of the road, or knocking over pedestrians or just generally breaking the rules of the road, I don’t think to myself: “What a creative individual, refusing to be bogged down by the constraints of modern societal norms”. I think “What a complete ****”.

I love rugby, but I am quite proud to say that some punk kid who refused to play soccer by the rules did not invent the game. All he did was mess up a really good game of soccer.

  1. Megan Judd says:

    BRILLIANT! absolutely love this!

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