Posts Tagged ‘racism’

I'm not racist, but there an awful lot of honkies in here

Without a doubt we’ve heard someone start a sentence with “I’m not racist, but” or used it ourselves (CONFESS!!!!) – sorry got carried away there.

Well finally there’s a product JUST for you. Introducing Diet Racism. For when you need to discriminate an entire race group but just don’t have the time.






A graph with only one colour? must be racist


This blog is dedicated to comedian and friend, Neil Green and a certain “lady” who cornered me after a show on Saturday, who needs to realise that this is not the 1950’s anymore. (Even though she will never read this as computers and the internet are “tools of the devil”).

What is it about old white people that think that young white guys and girls are also hardcore racists and can’t wait to drop racial slurs whenever they get the chance? Like the minute the door closes they do the surreptitious look to the left then to the right as if crossing the road into racist land.

So here we are in racist land where I am cornered into a conversation about how everything has just been downhill since whatever particular event in world history “ruined their lives for all eternity”, like the black guy who passed them in traffic or the Asian lady who got a higher mark in their high school science project.

Why is it they just assume that young white people can’t wait to share similar stories about how the country is doomed and how next chance we get we should all just emmigrate to Australia (as if there are no other race groups in Australia besides white people).

Please canvas me a little first. You know, maybe ask me a few questions to profile me a bit, see if I maybe hold some minor resentment towards other races and ethnicities before you go around dropping N-bombs and K-bombs all over the place. Ask me if I drive a tractor or wear military camouflage or khaki in public. Ask me if I’ve ever dated my sister or know anyone with the nickname Grand Dragon. At the very least use the caveat that you use in public before revealing your racism– you know the one that starts “I’m not racist, but”.

Sometime I’ve even experienced what I like to call “potluck racism” – where someone is just so hell bent on marginalising a race group it doesn’t even matter which one. He/she will just keep dropping racial slurs until the group even just kind of agrees. They’ll walk into a group discussion and just get right to it with something like “you can’t trust an Irishman”.

“Okay?” – is usually the response – partly because we’re surprise that that is his opening line given the fact that in no way, shape or form did the conversation about the latest Lady Gaga video have anything to do with the Irish, but also because usually we’re wondering who the heck this guy is in the first place.

Of course after explaining (poorly) why you can’t trust an Irishman, pot luck racist will at least have the savvy to realise that no one else shares his disdain for the denizens of the Emerald Isle and move on. Unfortunately, this is where that savvy insight ends and he will then just throw a dart at his figurative map to racist land and burst out with something like, “but it’s the Mexicans that are the worst” (he says after his 10th shot of tequila)

This will generally continue for the rest of the night until we either all leave or someone makes the mistake of agreeing with him/her usually out of absolute pity. At this point pot luck racist will then hone in on the agreeable party and corner him for the rest of the evening. Seeing the opportunity to cut their losses, the rest of the group will leave the poor soul who showed a bit of pity to a potuck racist and leave them to fend for themselves – scared – nervous – nodding (out of fear and boredom) – alone – in racist land.